Weird News: Drunk, drugged motorist claims girlfriend abandoned him – Palm Beach Post
No way to drive: Witnessed driving erratically, as one often does with a flattened front tire, a motorist and his wounded vehicle were found stopped in 4100 block of Hood Road. Sitting in the driver’s seat with the door open, the man was seen hanging partially out of the vehicle. With mumbled speech and difficulty formulating answers, he managed to shed some light on the situation when he informed the responding officers that he’d drunk 12 beers that day. He then added that he had also smoked some marijuana and not eaten anything. Next he decided to get personal and stated that he’d had an argument/disagreement with his girlfriend and said she’d gotten a ride with a friend and abandoned him. Though he couldn’t remember her last name or her number, police were eventually able to contact the girlfriend, who said she’d left him at the beach hours earlier and that he was “messed up.” He refused to take part in a roadside sobriety test and was arrested for DUI. He later refused to provide a breath sample. He did call his mother and apologized for his behavior before cursing a blue streak.
Fight faker: Abruptly stopping alongside a marked police vehicle near the intersection of Burns Road and Alternate A1A, a motorist climbed out of his truck and told the officer he’d been “jumped” at a nearby establishment. He said he’d been at the business in the 9900 block of Alternate A1A, when there was an altercation, and several men began beating him up. He said he fled the scene, but crashed into one of his attacker’s vehicles while escaping. With the smell of alcohol on his breath, slurred speech and bloodshot eyes, the highly emotional man claimed he’d had only “two beers” that evening. His claims of being assaulted later turned out to be untrue and he was investigated for DUI. He agreed to take part in a roadside sobriety test, but didn’t make it very far. Swaying and unable to keep his balance during the first task, he threw in the towel and asked that the officers to just take him to jail. He was arrested for DUI. His breath later showed he was more than twice the legal limit.
She said/he said: While strolling down the hallway of a hotel in the 4100 block of Northlake Boulevard, a woman said a man approached her and started up a conversation. She said as the talking progressed she entered her new acquaintance’s room and set her phone down on a television stand. She said she left the room after a while and then drove home. She realized a short time later she’d left her phone in the room. Seeking the help of law enforcement, she returned to the room and retrieved her phone. The man was reluctant to speak with police, but eventually offered his own, not-so-PG-13 version of events. He claimed that as he was talking to the woman, she began behaving erratically and eventually assaulted him with a pair of scissors. He then showed officers a superficial cut on his abdomen. He said he later discovered his tires had been slashed. Whatever the pair had been discussing and whatever actually happened, the two stuck to their conflicting statements and a primary aggressor could not be determined.
Alphabet soup: After crashing into another vehicle outside a restaurant in the 1500 block of US 1, a motorist was investigated for possible DUI. Though respectful, the man was repetitive in his speech and would constantly interject “absolutely” and “of course” when it was clear he wasn’t paying attention to what was being said. Asked to take part in a roadside sobriety test, the man agreed and it was officially on. Swaying during portions of the test while simultaneously becoming frustrated with himself over his failures, he then unleashed the knockout blow to his chances of passing with the Alphabet task. Starting out as well as many Pre-K children, he made it to the letter “D” before skipping over “E” and then going completely off the rails. He continued with “F, G, H, I, J, J, I, K” then stated he didn’t know the alphabet before making one last stand with “A, B, C, D, F, G… er… W, J, K… I personally don’t know the alphabet.” He was arrested for DUI. His breath later showed he was nearly twice the legal limit.
Millennial melee: Consuming large amounts of alcohol at an establishment in the 1100 block of Love Street, two groups of 20-somethings decided to have themselves an old-fashioned rumble. Though both parties claimed the other side instigated the fight, surveillance video showed a lot of shoving and a bit of grappling but did not distinguish a primary aggressor. Despite the alcohol-fueled rage and even Hulk-like strength some drinkers can muster, there was little damage caused and one of the “rumblers” had a small mark on his left hand. Three of the combatants were issued indefinite trespass warnings for the business.
Hulked out: Discovering a parking sign missing and soil thrown all over the driveway in front of his place of work on Golfview Road, a man checked the security cameras to see what had happened. The footage showed an individual exiting the building and then appearing to lock himself out. Though there is no way of knowing for sure, the man was not having a good day. Seemingly not unlike when Bruce Banner gets mad and his green alter ego bursts through, the man went, well, Hulk on the area. He could be seen hurling potted plants into the driveway and later walking around with a small tree that had been ripped from the ground. The parking sign, along with the metal post it was attached to, was discovered in a fountain in front of the building. The footage was entered into evidence.
A ‘coupla’ too many: Unable to maintain a single lane of travel and nearly colliding with other vehicles, a motorist was stopped on Northlake Boulevard. With red, glassy eyes and the odor of alcoholic beverages on his breath, the man informed police he was coming from an eatery in Palm Beach Gardens. Asked if he would take part in a roadside sobriety test, he gave a slow, slurred “yes.” Argumentative during portions of test, he exclaimed “ah (expletive)! I live half a mile away, give me a break.” Having difficulty maintaining his balance, he again asked for leniency in his own unique way stating “Give me a break, come on I’m fine! I only had three beers.” Finally, it was on to the round of the test that usually gets interesting, and often comical, the Rhomberg Alphabet. On his first try he left out “H, P, Q, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.” He made another attempt that had numerous repeats and omissions and ended with him saying “I have a coupla beers.” He was later arrested for DUI. He was also cited for failing to maintain a lane and changing lanes without signaling.
Graffiti ‘gift’: Likely feeling simultaneously creative and destructive, an amateur artist went to work on a building along US 1. With spray paint can in hand, the culprit proceeded to present his or her more artistic side to the world and in the process cause an estimated $1,000 worth of damage. Though there were surveillance cameras mounted, none was actually functional.
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Window wrecker: Though it was not reported whether his actions stemmed from a hatred of Asian cuisine and/or adult entertainment, a man went on a tear and smashed the windows of a Chinese restaurant and an establishment that specializes in the art of pole and lap dancing in the 900 block of Congress Avenue. Caught at the scene, the man promised to pay for the windows. Both businesses declined to press charges as long as the windows were replaced.
Windshield wrecker: Though the reasons behind the act were not disclosed, a man smashed the front windshield of a woman’s car while it was parked outside her residence in the 5200 block of Fourth Road North. Both the woman and her roommate witnessed the vandalism. When confronted, the man admitted to committing the crime and was arrested. In addition to being a windshield-smashing jerk, he also had three outstanding warrants.
Porch pirate: A man who had once attempted to sell several items to residents at a home in the 1600 block of 61st Avenue, returned approximately one week later and reversed course. This time, instead of selling items, he decided to steal two sets of jumper cables from the front porch. The seller/thief’s antics were captured by the residents’ surveillance system as well as a neighbors.
Vehicle vandal: The driver’s side tires of a man’s truck were slashed while the vehicle was parked outside his residence in the 2800 block of Canalside Drive. The man said that his baby’s mother was the most likely suspect, and he later added that she admitted to the incident via text. Attempts to contact the woman were met with negative results.
Porch pirate, v. 2: If the front step of a home in the 4700 block of Lehto Lane was a “baby,” and the package that had been left for the resident the hypothetical “candy,” then a certain opportunistic punk would be the one person on earth who would actually take candy from a baby by stealing the package. Though he stole it, the resident had a chance encounter with the no-good, candy-from-a-baby thief and recovered the item. At that point she no longer wished to pursue charges.
Vehicle vandal, v. 2: Though the owner said there was nothing inside worth stealing and that nothing was even stolen, someone smashed her front and rear driver’s side windows. She said the vehicle was parked outside her residence and that the only surveillance cameras were too far away to capture anything.
Security saboteur: Concerned as to why she was receiving no signal from a security camera at her property in the 3800 block of Cocoloba Lane, the owner was soon informed of the reason. A family member investigated and discovered that an unknown person literally drilled a hole in the side of the camera. The camera was destroyed and would cost $250 to replace. There are no suspects at this time.
Lights out: The lights to a man’s gazebo in the backyard of his residence in the 7500 block of Colony Palm Drive, were rendered inoperable after an unknown perpetrator cut the wires to them. The homeowner said he has no issues with any of his neighbors and doesn’t know who would have committed the crime.
Comminatory customer: Upset after being denied a test strip refill from a pharmacy in the 1100 block of Royal Palm Beach Boulevard, a man became frustrated and increasingly agitated, stating “you guys need to figure it out or I am going to send my son tomorrow to shoot you guys.” Though the pharmacy assistant said she was not afraid, deputies met the angry man at his home and he said he had stated he was going to get his attorney and sue, not shoot, them.
Compiled by Eddie Ritz from area law enforcement records.
