Harry and Meghan on the Moment They Realized They Needed to Leave the Royal Family

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle used their Harry & Meghan documentary to say it outright: While a lot of factors came together to lead them to leave their senior royal family roles, the Palace’s treatment of them was the final-straw factor that made them realize they couldn’t be part of the institution anymore.

In the fifth episode of their Netflix docuseries, Harry spoke about the moment he knew they needed to get out and how the decision was his, not Meghan’s—despite the way the tabloids were framing it as a “Megxit.”

“How predictable that a woman is to be blamed for the decision of a couple,” Harry said. “In fact, it was my decision. She never asked to leave. I was the one that had to see it for myself.”

As for when Harry knew they needed to go for good, he revealed it was when the Palace put Harry’s name on a statement to The Times absolving his brother Prince William of responsibility for making them want to leave without Harry’s permission. The story was published on January 13, 2020.

“That day a story came out that said part of the reason Meghan and I were leaving was because William had bullied us out, and once I got in the car after the meeting [Sandringham Summit with William, King Charles II, and the Queen discussing Meghan and Harry’s stepping back announcement], I was told about a joint statement that had been put out in my name and my brother’s name squashing the story about him bullying us out of the family,” Harry recalled. “I couldn’t believe it. No one had asked me. No one had asked me permission to put my name to a statement like that. And I rang M, and I told her, and she burst into floods of tears, because within four hours they were happy to lie to protect my brother, and yet for three years, they were never willing to tell the truth to protect us.”

Meghan added, “Suddenly what clicked in my head was: It’s never gonna stop. Every rumor, every negative thing, every lie, everything that I knew wasn’t true and that the Palace knew wasn’t true and internally they knew wasn’t true that was just being allowed to fester.”

“So there was no other option at this point,” Harry admitted. “I said, ‘We need to get out of here.’”

The couple was supposed to do a year of transition in their royal roles from 2020 to 2021. “We thought that was the beginning of our year in transition, which turns out was anything but a transition,” Harry said with a laugh in the documentary’s sixth episode. “It was just a beating.”

Tyler Perry, who let the couple stay in his Beverly Hills home when they were first getting set up in the United States, recalled his first phone call with Meghan, who called from Canada where the couple had been and revealed her headspace that winter.

“Finally, after years at that point, first time we ever spoke, and I was just a wreck,” Meghan herself said of her call with Perry. “I was just crying and crying. Sometimes it’s easier to just open up to someone who knows nothing at all. And that was that moment with me and Tyler.”

“I could hear the fear,” Perry said. “It was palpable. I mean I could hear it. So I asked her, what was she afraid of? And she took a deep breath, and she started listing the things, ‘I’m afraid of…’ And I said to her, every one of your fears are valid….She was afraid of them destroying her or going crazy or them making her think she was crazy.”

Perry compared the Palace’s treatment of Meghan and Harry to that of an abuser, saying he knew the signs from seeing his own mother be abused. “This woman [Meghan] was abused and so was he [Harry]. To use the institution to try and do all the things a batterer would do, like here’s what we’re going to do, we’re gonna cut off the money. We’re gonna not leave you security. We’re gonna do all those things to make you comply and come back. And for the both of them to have the wherewithal to say ‘I don’t give a damn if it’s the Palace. I’m out of here,’ I applauded that.”

You can watch the full series here on Netflix.