Sunday, December 22, 2024
Sports

Aaron Rodgers darkness retreat is known for making people love the Packers

Aaron Rodgers darkness retreats side effects include becoming a Green Bay Packers fan.

After four-to-five days in utter darkness, you will find the light in the form of green and yellow.

With Aaron Rodgers embracing the darkness more than Bane ever did, we will soon learn what he wants to do about football. In the meantime, we have indisputable and documented proof of what happens when you go completely off the grid for the better part of the week. You miss colors, especially green and yellow. Ladies and gentlemen, this is how Green Bay Packers fans are reborn!

While you might get one step closer to God, you will reemerge fully committed to your NFL team.

Yellow means warmth and green means life, but with their powers combined, they are Captain Cheesehead!

Aaron Rodgers darkness retreats can help Green Bay Packers fans be reborn

I think this is just utterly fantastic, to be honest. Few things provide one the joy of experiencing the ups and downs from cheering on their favorite sports teams. If the green and yellow speak to you, then by all means get reacquainted with the darkness by crawling into a hole like you are hibernating. But what if you like other colors? How does one get back in with Red and Black?

Barking at strangers in public usually does the trick. Getting stuck in traffic on the death contraption known as I-285 can get you there as well. But if you cannot burn some lemon-pepper candles in your bungalow apartment, then you have no other choice but to brush your teeth with a a liter of Coca-Cola. If carbonation be damned, then shovel an All-Star Special down your gullet!

For Yinzers among us who want to reconnect with the black and yellow, crank some Wiz on loop, lather your Primanti’s in some Heinz and wash it dahn with an IC Light. Should you miss the baby hue of Carolina blue, pick up some fixins from Bo Time, put your pedal to the metal and turn left like there is no tomorrow. If you ain’t first, you’re last! I think Rodgers might be onto something…

We need an A.J. Hawk darkness retreat to see if misses green and yellow or scarlet and grey more.

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