Vikings rumors: 2 stars on the trade block for post-draft shake-up

The Minnesota Vikings are making Dalvin Cook and Za’Darius Smith available for a trade.

Minnesota Vikings general manager Kwesi Adofo-Mensah wants to tear this thing down to the studs like he is Chip and Joanna Gaines doing a renovation project for all the world to see.

While they keep on winning games, Adofo-Mensah wishes to blow this thing up like a science fair project. He is collecting Mentos like he is the got dang Foo Fighters playing Big Me against their better judgement. The only problem is he cannot get the Diet Coke he needs. This is why Jim Harbaugh was not hired because he is a Coca-Cola Classic, two-percent kind of guy if you will.

But with running back Dalvin Cook and linebacker Za’Darius Smith reportedly being placed on the trading block, Kevin O’Connell may be willing to wash it down with a large Diet Coke to be healthy.

Although the Vikings could be a playoff team next year, their future is murkier than the Brazos River Pat McAfee swan dived into off a double-decker party cruiser to scare the ever-living hell out of David Pollack on College GameDay many, many moons ago. He remains an absolute stallion!

Big Me to talk about Kwesi Adofo-Mensah blowing up the Minnesota Vikings

This is a team that didn’t want to pay Stefon Diggs top dollar, and may not do the same with Justin Jefferson. Want proof? Just ask Diggs, Percy Harvin and Randy Moss how much Minnesota loves paying wide receivers. Besides, Jordan Addison may be the new and improved version of Jefferson for all we know. Regardless, this team let Adam Thielen walk and it got weird with Harrison Smith.

I understand wanting to move on from a running back like Cook who is not getting younger, as well as a defensive front-seven playmaker in Smith who cannot stay healthy, but y’all got a division to win. The Green Bay Packers are going through the five stages of grief in a post-Aaron Rodgers, and yours truly is paying a price for it. The Chicago Bears should never be trusted for any reason.

While the Detroit Lions may be the new team to beat man, they haven’t won a division title since we had internet. America was not online then and we could not get enough Crystal Pepsi coursing through our veins like the life-blood sustenance that is a Hot-and-Ready with Crazy Bread to boot. But yeah, I can understand why Adofo-Mensah wishes to be Chip Gaines. He is living the dream!

If anybody is going to be Chip Gaines in the NFL, let it be our boy Kwesi be the one to blow this up.