Why it's never ok for a boss to date a junior worker
British TV icon Phillip Schofield has landed in hot waters for entering into an “unwise, but not illegal” relationship with a junior staffer at his now former workplace.
The 61-year-old broadcaster quit his prime daytime TV gig on ITV last week, after confessing he had an affair with a much younger male runner on the show while he was married to his wife.
The anonymous staffer met Schofield at 15 prior to taking on a role as an ITV production assistant when he turned 18, which is when the romance allegedly began.
The story has sparked concern for the welfare of Schofield’s young lover and outrage at his employer over what it should have done about the relationship.
Schofield, who has been a hallmark of British TV for almost 40 years, said in a statement: “I did have a consensual on-off relationship with a younger male colleague at This Morning.
“Contrary to speculation, whilst I met the man when he was a teenager and was asked to help him to get into television, it was only after he started to work on the show that it became more than just a friendship. That relationship was unwise, but not illegal. It is now over.”
Mike Marsland—WireImage/Getty. Images
The power imbalance undermines consent
According to various studies, between a quarter and a third of all long-term relationships start at work. But it’s clear that not all workplace romances are equal.
While a small minority of experts expressed to Fortune that dating a younger worker falls into a grey area that depends on age, company size, and whether the couple is truly in love, most were in agreement that a relationship with a junior worker crosses a professional boundary and puts the young worker’s career (and emotional safety) at risk.
The hard and fast line is that entering into a relationship with someone significantly more junior in their career is an abuse of power.
“If you are a leader, you have a responsibility to your employer, and a duty of care to employees that they can work in a safe working environment,” stresses Richard Robinson, managing director of the consultancies, Xeim Engage and Oystercatchers.
“Part of that relationship that you have both with your employer and with your employees means that you will not try to have sex with members of your staff—it’s that straightforward.”
Like most of the experts whom Fortune spoke to, the main issue that he took with such romance is that the more senior party has power over their lover’s professional growth, performance evaluations, and career prospects.
“It’s the decision-making ability, which is the critical factor,” Robinson echoes. “They can sit in meetings when that junior person is not there and speak on their behalf.”
Knowing that your boss holds sway over whether you’re fired or promoted makes it hard to break up or say no to a romantic gesture from a leader in the first instance.
It’s why Ieva Kubiliute, psychologist and relationships advisor underlines that this power imbalance “undermines the notion of a truly consensual and equitable relationship”.
Unconscious ripple effects
Alexandra Bond Burnett, executive coach and founder of consultancy Ambition: Impact warns that, whether you like it or not, everything from the advice you give to who you recommend for a pay rise is influenced by deep-rooted emotions—much of which is unconscious.
“And that really can make or break a career,” she adds.
Even if you’re not subconsciously sabotaging the career of a former young lover (post-breakup), speaking their praises when they’re not in the room can also have a detrimental impact on their career.
Other employees will undoubtedly question the worthiness of promotions, salary increases, or professional opportunities extended to the individual involved in the relationship.
“If a mentor had a relationship with their mentee and the mentee succeeded there would always be a question mark over their successes,” Burnett echoes.
Plus, it’s not only the individual’s accomplishments that are at risk.
“The mentee’s colleagues may worry about compromised confidentiality, biased decision-making, or a loss of objectivity,” Kubiliute warns while adding that this can have a ripple effect on company culture, undermines team morale and damages trust in management.
It culturally sets the tone
Ultimately, whether or not this is an isolated incident, a romantic relationship between a boss and someone significantly more junior will culturally set the tone for what’s acceptable at the company—and paints other managers as guilty by association.
For new recruits, such relationships could set their expectations on how to succeed at a disturbing low.
“If the boss is having sex with the interns, or the graduates or the new recruits, you may well genuinely believe that that is how people get promoted, or that is how people get pushed forward,” Robinson cautions.
Meanwhile, other managers may even be inspired to hit on their workers in the hopes of landing a date or an office affair.
“What’s more unnerving, and something I’ve experienced and quit a job because of, is the sexualized workplace,” Burnett shudders. “From my experience, it gave rising managers a green light to treat junior women in a certain way, and set the conversation in office corridors.”
As a result, she echoes that the “culture was unbearable” and that it made junior workers who didn’t know the rules of play “horrendously uncomfortable”.
The big risk with overlooking romantic relations in the workplace is that it can lead to the more insidious behavior that women have been calling out and standing up against since the #metoo movement made strides.
“I’m over an age where I’ve experienced appalling behavior in companies of senior leaders. Senior leaders who think it’s okay to have a relationship with a junior member of staff, do not do it once—they do it multiple times,” Robinson says.
“Once they’ve got to a position where they’ve assumed that it’s okay to do it once they’ll repeat it, and they’ll repeat it, and they’ll repeat it. And for me, that’s why it’s just completely binary… It is black and white, there is no grey in this whatsoever: The company that you work at should not be seen as your own private Tinder universe, that you’re going to work your way through.”