Kirk Cousins caught a vicious stray in the Madden 24 trailer

The winner of Madden 24 is all too obvious: Josh Allen. The loser is a fellow NFL quarterback who body-slammed by the Madden 24 trailer: Kirk Cousins.

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins could hardly be considered the villain of the NFL. So why did Madden 24 have to do him so dirty?

The trailer for Madden 24 came out on Wednesday afternoon, and it showed some of the league’s most beloved players in their natural element. Los Angeles Chargers’ Austin Ekeler barrels past defenders into the end zone. New York Jets’ Sauce Gardner breaks up a deep pass against the Patriots. San Francisco 49ers’ Fred Warner furiously tackles a player to the ground, knockout-style.

But when the camera focused on Kirk Cousins, it showed him… throwing an interception against the Dallas Cowboys.

Cousins tries to find K.J. Osborn out wide, but Trevon Diggs picks off the overthrown pass. Diggs then turns around for the pick-6, and Cousins tries to stop him but gets the living daylights and dignity knocked out of him by Micah Parsons, who’s blocking for Diggs. The end shot is Parsons standing up in Cousins’ face, presumably saying something like, “Those chains won’t protect you against me.”

Vikings QB Kirk Cousins gets savaged in new Madden 24 trailer

A moment of silence for Kirk Cousins, who will now and forever be immortalized as one of Micah Parson’s victims.

What makes Cousins’ embarrassment worse is that the other quarterbacks in the trailer got fabulous PR. Jalen Hurts was shown darting away from pass-rushers as his offensive linemen gave him time to throw. Patrick Mahomes, being Patrick Mahomes, tosses a perfect touchdown spiral to Travis Kelce while suspended in mid-air. And Josh Allen, the triumphant face of Madden 24, stiff-arms a Ravens defender and bulldozes over Patrick Queen to emerge with the ball victorious in the end zone.

The only player who got more disrespected than Cousins may be Queen, who helplessly falls back onto his rear end and appears to wave his arms in submission.

These Madden trailers always have to make some players out to be the losers and the chums, and this season, Kirk Cousins unfortunately takes the brunt of the shame.

Maybe this will light a fire under him and he’ll record his best (and potentially last) campaign with the Vikings. Cousins should just be glad Madden didn’t digitize footage of his game-ending fourth-down pass that was well short of the sticks in the Vikings’ Wild Card loss against the Giants last postseason. Talk about disappointing.