The professor who wrote the book on ‘jerks at work’ is sounding the alarm about a new office scourge: Too much niceness
No one enjoys a toxic workplace. It’s never fun to work unnecessarily long hours or with colleagues who are not supportive. In recent memory, complaints about toxicity played a huge role in the so-called Great Resignation exodus. So, what’s the opposite of a toxic work culture? Beware the falsely nice one, warns Tessa West, NYU psychology professor and author of Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them.
Similar comments by West about the dangers of too much “niceness” were previously reported by CNBC Make It.
“We’ve created a culture where critical feedback is called toxic,” West told Fortune. “I think we conflate niceness with things like empathy, constructive feedback, growth mindset, and all these kinds of good positive buzzwords we hear, but the way it actually tends to play out at work is an avoidance of criticalness.”
West says that since critical feedback is seen as toxic, managers are often walking on eggshells around employees.
“There’s been this movement in the workplace for people to really prioritize mental health and mental well-being. And what that often means is that you can’t say anything negative,” she noted. “I’d say this temptation to make people feel better is actually completely backfiring.”
How does niceness hurt employees, even if not the toxic way?
A lot of things can make the workplace toxic—including environments that are non-inclusive, abusive, unethical, or where leaders aren’t taking responsibility to address employee problems within an organization. In extreme cases, toxic culture can lead to large scale movements like #MeToo. Regardless of the degree of toxicity, employees are often forced to consider leaving their jobs if they aren’t nurtured or supported by their employers. But to remedy it, too much niceness isn’t the solution, as it doesn’t communicate the truth either, according to West.
“Ironically, this temptation to make people feel good about themselves is resulting in leaders avoiding feedback altogether,” West noted, adding that, as a consequence, employees never truly know where they stand in fulfilling their role.
“Niceness, when it leads to an avoidance of the necessary critical feedback people need to grow—the specific stuff—that’s when it becomes a problem,” she said. “Eventually what ends up happening is people get laid off, fired, [or] demoted without any feedback as to why.”
What this ultimately does is amplify the level of uncertainty and burnout that people feel at work because they never know how close or far they are from outcomes like being promoted or sacked. West points out that employees also don’t feel a sense of psychological safety—the idea that people can speak up, make mistakes, or ask questions without fear of negative consequences.
So, what can managers do? West suggests communicating with employees with neutral comments first, followed by minor or mundane ones so people fall into the habit of being on the receiving end of feedback. She also thinks the feedback should be about specific behaviors of employees rather than about the managers’ impression of it.
“Starting off with fairly neutral content can kind of warm people up to this, if you have a culture of this kind of avoidance of feedback in the workplace,” West said.
How are employees coping with toxic workplaces?
Studies have shown that a toxic workplace drove American employees up a wall during the COVID-19 pandemic, culminating in many of them quitting their jobs in search of greener pastures. In 2021, nearly 48 million people quit their jobs, and that number rose to over 50 million in 2022, according to government data.
While the pandemic turned the spotlight on toxic workplaces, and the mass resignations were a response (of sorts) to that, we may be far from a reality where such corporate cultures don’t exist. Some job listings still ask for potential employees to have the ability to “handle stress” or “work under pressure,” which could be a red flag regarding the expectations of employees in the workplace.
Some ways of ensuring you aren’t contributing to that culture is by noticing small things, Kathryn Minshew, CEO of career platform The Muse, wrote for Fortune Commentary in March. That includes checking if you are the first to speak in meetings, having very specific action items for the people who report to you, or often tweaking your expectations.
Ultimately, employees want a safe and nurturing space for professional and personal growth. And in the words of billionaire and veteran Wall Street investor Charlie Munger, the best way to live life is to “avoid toxic people and toxic activities.”
