10 HILARIOUS news headlines that could only be from Ireland – Ireland Before You Die

January 29, 2024 ndowd

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Irish headlines are occasionally a bit ridiculous, but some just take the cake for being utterly bonkers.
From missing clothes to condom-endorsing priests, here are our top 10 favourite Irish news headlines. Some sound like they could be satire, but they are, in fact, real!
Father Arthur O’Neill told TheJournal.ie that he “wasn’t very priest-like” when he was awoken around 5 am by two armed men pointing a gun to his head.
But the two men didn’t stay very long, leaving just 20 minutes later. O’Neill joked that he bored them off with a sermon that he prepared earlier that day, going on to say that “there’s good in everyone” after the two men returned his stolen mobile phone under a tile outside his door. Only in Ireland!
READ: Enjoying the craic? You may enjoy this – Top 10 hilarious Google reviews of police and Garda stations around Ireland
The Irish are well known for being able to make fun of themselves. The example in this headline is no exception, as we humour the idea of the sun ever gracing the soils of our Emerald Isle.
This headline from May 2016 was released in a Belfast Telegraph article after Northern Ireland saw temperatures of 20 degrees Celsius, which other hot countries might find laughable.
Continuing the theme of terrible Irish weather is Bishop Ferns Denis Brennan of County Wexford, who could not hack another week of summer 2012’s rain – he’d had enough!
After relentless wet weather, Brennan inspired this headline at WexfordPeople.ie after asking everyone to pray for sunshine during their weekly Mass. The appeal was made after numerous parishioners inundated the Diocese with requests for weather-related prayer.
“All-powerful and ever-living God… Give us the fine weather we pray for an’ need”, spoke Brennan.
Oh dear.
Thankfully, this hilarious headline on Independent.ie is not referring to Pope Benedict’s pulling skills (“shift” is an Irish slang word with a particular connotation), but instead to the historic shift in the position of the Roman Catholic Church towards the usage of condoms in 2010.
This headline on Independent.ie was inspired by a man in his 40s who had an entire sea and cliff rescue operation on the go in County Kerry.
Little did they know, he was safe and well in a pub in the nearby town, completely oblivious to what had been going on outside. Talk about a false alarm…
RELATED: Keep the laughter going and read IB4UD’s piece on the 10 hilariously depressing reviews of famous Irish pubs
They say the Irish are polite and friendly, but we think this guy maybe took it to the extreme.
During stormy conditions on Lough Derg, the man spent the night alone on a raft for more than 12 hours. He was found fast asleep and told the coast guard that he was “reluctant to call the rescue services, anxious not to put anyone out”. We feel bad for the very polite man, but it did make a good headline on TheJournal.ie.
In what was perhaps the slowest day in the history of journalism, the Sligo Weekender newspaper actually reported a lost hat in a tree.
“I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw it up there”, said the resident of Carney, County Sligo, when describing the green, bobbled hat in a tree opposite the local pub.
READ MORE: The top 10 HILARIOUS things that happen on every Irish night out
In a truly shocking turn of events, a daredevil left a shop wearing a jacket that he had tried on, having forgotten to take off. He inspired this headline in The Dundalk Leader.
Sean Smith of Dundalk ended up purchasing the item after pleading guilty to theft charges, but not before receiving a 150 euro fine. Smith had 40 previous charges related to “accidental” theft.
All of Ireland breathed a massive sigh of relief as finally, Stephen Kenny’s now-famous jumper was safely returned in one piece.
Then-Dundalk FC Stephen Kenny was having a coffee in a local café when he accidentally left his favourite jumper down and forgot to pick it back up again. Thankfully the jumper was returned to him quickly, and naturally the Dundalk Democrat newspaper picked up on the story to spread joy to the concerned nation.
Completing our list of hilarious Irish news headlines is this one from MailOnline, inspired by the tale of Shay Bradley.
Bradley was a soldier who, before sadly passing, decided to leave a pre-recorded message of himself in his coffin to scare the living daylights out of everyone at his funeral.
The tears at this service were of laughter, as the crowd erupted into bellied hysterics as the recording shouted, “Help, let me out. Where the f*ck am I? Let me out, let me out, it’s f*cking dark in here!”
The joker’s recording was unprecedented and took everyone by complete surprise. “Is that a priest I can hear? This is Shay, I’m in the box. No, in f*cking front of you. I’m dead,” it continued.
The clip, filmed in Kilmanagh, Dublin, has since gone viral after the Irish Defence Forces News shared it online.
That’s our top 10 – but it only just scratches the surface of insanely hilarious Irish news headlines.
Thankfully, the Emerald Isle isn’t just reporting about its lost jackets and boring priests – you only have to read about Ireland’s breakthrough social, political and economic successes to know that.
What are your favourite things about Ireland?
Read our article and still have some questions? Then we have you covered! Here, we have put together the most frequently asked questions about this topic online and from our readers.
There are many things that make Ireland so special; its welcoming people, stunning green countryside, golden beaches, rich history and culture, and much, much more.
The Irish News is a newspaper based primarily in the north of the country, which documents local politics, society and sport. It is very popular.
Ireland sits right on the Atlantic Ocean and on the edge of western Europe. Its nearest neighbour is Britain.
The Irish Independent would be Ireland’s largest and most bought daily newspaper.
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