2023's Inland Empire weird news: yellow dogs, Dodger tackles, culture wars – Inland Valley Daily Bulletin
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We don’t need AI to know that the Inland Empire can be a strange place that generates strange news. Our own eyes can tell us that.
And so could my manila folder labeled “Weird News of 2023,” in which I stashed articles clipped throughout the year. The file is bulging. But once again I winnowed them down into a Top 10 in this, my 26th consecutive year of producing these weird-year-in-review roundups.
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There were so many possibilities that some fairly odd stories didn’t make the cut.
There was news of the arrest, yet again, of comic and actor Andy Dick, this time in Lake Elsinore, which also revealed that he lives in Hemet. That’s a long way from Hollywood.
We also learned that Amazon cut off donations to The Cheech after discovering that some free-thinking, fiercely independent artists — try to follow me here — oppose rampant warehouse development. Gosh, how unexpected!
But I limited myself, as ever, to a Top 10 list. What were the Weirdest Inland Empire New Stories of 2023? Here is my definitive, absolutely correct and 100% objective ranking. And yes, Temecula is well-represented.
Dodger fan who proposed to his girlfriend during last week’s Opening Night game, Ricardo Juarez with fiancee Stephani Ramona Gutierrez in Riverside on Monday, April 3, 2023. (Photo by Terry Pierson, The Press-Enterprise/SCNG)
Parents and students wear pride attire to show support for LGBTQ pride flags during the Temecula Valley Unified School District board meeting in Temecula on Tuesday, Sept. 12, 2023. (Photo by Terry Pierson, The Press-Enterprise/SCNG)
San Bernardino City Councilmember Kimberly Calvin, seen Wednesday, July 21, 2021, failed to qualify for the March 2024 ballot and plans to run as a write-in candidate. (File photo by Terry Pierson, The Press-Enterprise/SCNG)
The booking photo of Riverside City Councilmember Clarissa Cervantes following her July 1 arrest on suspicion of misdemeanor driving under the influence of alcohol. Cervantes was convicted of DUI Wednesday, Aug. 30 in Riverside County Superior Court. (Courtesy of Riverside County Sheriff’s Department).
Val Verde Unified Board of Education, President Matthew Serafin makes a statement on his current controversy at the school board meeting in Perris on Tuesday, Oct. 3, 2023. (Photo by Anjali Sharif-Paul, The Sun/SCNG)
Parents rights supporter Nicolette Yonchelle, center, celebrates with others after the Chino Valley Unified School District voted 4-1 on a policy requiring schools to notify parents if their child changes their pronouns following a heated board meeting Thursday night Thursday night July 20, 2023 at Don Lugo High School in Chino.. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)
“On Point,” a 12-foot tall steel sculpture of a dog, faces traffic on Base Line Road in Rancho Cucamonga to mark the entrance to the city’s dog park, The Bark at Central Park. The tribute to man’s best friend has detractors and defenders. (Photo by David Allen, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)
In Riverside County, a sheriff’s sting operation went awry when deputies posing as drug sellers met with a suspect, sold him 60 pounds of methamphetamine and let him drive off, thus putting illegal drugs on the streets. In San Bernardino County, a ransomware attack on its Sheriff’s Department resulted in law enforcement caving in and paying $1.1 million ransom to criminals. Is local law enforcement now abetting crime?
A 12-foot-tall metal sculpture of a dog was placed, whimsically, outside Rancho Cucamonga’s new dog park as a marker. Predictably, some people were outraged. They didn’t like the sculpture’s size, existence, $20,000 cost or yellow color. Alternate colors suggested: red, blue, rust and “three-toned.” Some critics were downright catty about the whole thing.
In February, a Chino Hills motorist was pulled over for an alleged traffic infraction by a man driving a pickup with emergency lights and a “Fire” decal. The man wore what appeared to be a law enforcement uniform. His badge, however, identified him as a member of the Santa Muerte Fire Department, which does not exist. The man was later arrested for impersonating a firefighter. And, since he was handing out traffic tickets, not even doing a very good job of it.
In Temecula, a phrase that will recur throughout this Top 10, the school board banned new cell phone towers on school grounds on a 3-2 vote after the board president warned about electromagnetic radiation, claimed to be an expert on the subject and volunteered that wherever he goes, he’s “always thinking (about) radiation safety.” However, he did stop short of requiring anyone on school grounds to wear a tinfoil hat.
In an investigation whose findings were released Dec. 6, San Bernardino City Councilmember Kimberly Calvin was said to have repeatedly bypassed the chain of command by giving orders to city staff. Would that cloud her chances for re-election in March? It may be a moot point, because Calvin was told the next day that due to a shortage of voter signatures on her nomination papers, she won’t even appear on the ballot. All this in under 24 hours? And you thought you were having a bad week.
Movies no longer offer intermissions, not even “Killers of the Flower Moon” at 3 ½ hours, but my Top 10 list does. Feel free to stand up, bend and stretch your funny bone. Use the restroom if you must, or grab some refreshments from this newspaper’s snack bar. Hey, no throwing Milk Duds at the columnist!
And now, on with the countdown.
In Temecula, the school board on a 3-2 vote decided to reject a social studies textbook because of its inclusion of gay-rights icon Harvey Milk among hundreds of pages of supplemental social-studies material. Gov. Gavin Newsom threatened to ship the textbooks anyway, bill the district and levy a fine. He also filmed a video in which he spoke directly to Temecula parents, as if they were hostages. Wisely, if belatedly, the board majority backed down.
Two Riverside County elected officials were arrested for driving under the influence — for the second time each. Clarissa Cervantes of the Riverside City Council was pulled over in July, less than two months after a judge dismissed her first DUI conviction from 2014. Matthew Serafin of Perris’ Val Verde Unified school board was arrested in August on a fresh DUI, one year after completing probation for a conviction from 2019. I wish them both the best, but motorists can only hope the pair’s pledges of changed behavior stick better than the first time.
Exactly why the live-from-New-York “Saturday Night Live” character played twice by Ego Nwodim is named Lisa From Temecula remains mysterious. But the entitled attorney who assumes every man is making a pass at her and who rocks restaurant tables so vigorously as to spill her friends’ food everywhere got America talking about Temecula.
On Opening Day, a Dodgers fan from Riverside leaped onto the field mid-game, dropped to one knee and proposed to his girlfriend who was seated in the bleachers. Stadium security ran at him and performed a flying tackle. It was one of the few times you’ll see a tackle during a baseball game. The news went viral. He was banned from the stadium for one year. More importantly, his girlfriend said yes.
And the No. 1 Weird Local News Story of 2023:
In Temecula — but also in the Chino Valley! — school boards debated night after night about whether to out a relative handful of transgender children if teachers know something their own parents don’t. Adults on both sides rallied, shouted, name-called and employed copious amounts of poster board. Was this really the most pressing education issue of 2023? Imagine if this much passion were directed toward learning loss, math instruction or civics.
David Allen writes Friday, Sunday and Wednesday, more losses. Email dallen@scng.com, phone 909-483-9339, like davidallencolumnist on Facebook and follow @davidallen909 on Twitter.
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