Thursday, December 26, 2024
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Lizzo is taking a millennial gap year to ‘protect her peace.’ What you can learn from her

Lizzo is taking a gap year—though it probably won’t look much like your kid’s break between high school and college.

“I’m taking a gap year & protecting my peace,” the 36-year-old Grammy award-winning singer wrote in an Instagram post, alongside a photo of her taking in the view of Bali. 

“Protecting your peace” is a phrase that has been used casually in the self-care universe, especially on social platforms like TikTok. One online definition is “caring for and safeguarding your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self,” and reflects people’s desire to slow down, set boundaries in relationships, and prioritize rest. 

And for many—Lizzo included, apparently—it’s about damn time for a reset. 

The mental health foundation of ‘protecting my peace’

Not to be confused with running away or bailing on your friends altogether, protecting your peace can help you live a fuller life by unclogging mental clutter and making rest a priority. What’s more, protecting your peace can be the antidote to burnout, which can lead to stress, fatigue, and a racing heart rate, harming mental and physical health.

The intention can universally encourage a person to reflect on their emotional capacity in various areas of life, says Marline Francois-Madden, PhD, a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of the Hearts Empowerment Counseling Center in New Jersey, which offers therapy for women and girls.

Questions worth pondering during such a break, Francois-Madden tells Fortune, are, “What do you have the ability to carry, whether it’s the people that are around you, the places that you’re in, your job, your family, or the friends and communities you serve?” While responsibilities may be ongoing, knowing when you need to rest or pull back is essential in optimizing your potential to be a good worker, friend, and partner, she notes.

How do I know if I need to ‘protect my peace’?

Everyone needs rest, but it’s important to decipher which areas of your life need it most. Do you have people, places, or things negatively affecting your daily life? Then aim to reduce your time or effort in these spaces and take on more that brings you joy. 

Francois-Madden also suggests asking yourself a range of questions to know if it’s time to pause and reset: 

  • Do you find yourself short and irritable with people? 
  • Are you getting enough sleep? 
  • Are you feeling more forgetful or having an inability to focus? 
  • Do you feel you have to be a people pleaser or is your worth being questioned? 

Reflections can help you determine how you may start to protect your peace in certain areas.

How can you protect your peace?

While Lizzo—who is also facing a lawsuit from her dancers that alleges her participation in a toxic environment and is slowing down on her music releases— can afford to take a gap year for this purpose, most others cannot. Still, Francois-Madden says that making micro habit adjustments to protect yourself can help you show up better and more energized in the world.

First, start being mindful of the structure of your day. Francois-Madden suggests you look at your daily calendar and find some time to be intentional by taking a nap, carving out time for a healthy meal, reminding yourself to drink water, or spending time alone, even for 10 minutes.

“So often we celebrate the wins, the promotion, the job offer, buying the car, and buying the house, but we never look at rest as a measure of success,” Francois-Madden says, suggesting that it’s time we start doing so. 

Further, protecting your peace can mean something even more life-changing— leaving an abusive relationship or toxic work environment, for example, or taking time to heal from a mental health condition.

And the “Good as Hell” star has been open about her mental health struggles, including her experience with depression. 

“The strange thing about depression is you don’t know you’re in it until you’re out of it. I’m definitely not all the way as carefree as I used to be.. But the dark cloud that followed me every day is finally clearing up,” she wrote in an Instagram post earlier this year. 

For historically marginalized groups, Francois-Madden says protecting your peace can be much more dire and yet much more difficult—particularly for Black women who often feel they need to work twice as hard as their counterparts to feel validated. Francois-Madden wants to remind people in the throes of hustle culture and the news cycle that taking rest is not about giving up or lagging but rejuvenating to show up more energized and creative when you can. 

“If you notice that you have a lot of meetings on your calendar, ask yourself, am I intentionally placing breaks in between these meetings so that way I have a moment to decompress?” she says. “You know when you leave work and you enter your home space, are you taking work home with you because you have to or because you want to?”

Francois-Madden advises those she counsels to lean on support groups and those who champion the intent to rest and make time for themselves. 

“It’s important for us to affirm and validate and celebrate people when they’re taking sabbaticals, when they’re resting, when they take a nap, when they go to the gym, and when they eat a meal outside instead of next to their desk,” she says. 

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