The American Dream failed millennials and Gen Zers—even DINKs earning over $100,000 say they can’t afford kids
Like clockwork, parents, grandparents, or even a rogue nosey aunt will ask the adult children at the Thanksgiving dinner table the dreaded question— when are you guys having kids? No need to occupy yourself with a mouthful of mashed potatoes this time around, feel free to just point to the economy.
Millennials and Gen Zers have found that the pathway to having their own children is full of neverending trials and tribulations, endlessly stretching onward like one of those long CVS receipts. Between navigating the childcare crisis and simply trying to stay afloat day to day, many adults have delayed or nixed having kids altogether, figuring that having one would dent their already-high bills. That’s where DINKs come in.
Short for dual income, no kids— DINKs now represent around 5% of Americans, according to a survey of more than 2,400 parents and 1,700 non-parents from The Harris Poll. Young adults are throwing aside the faded script of a nuclear family and a white-picket fence. It makes sense, given many can’t even afford a house. And DINKs are finding out that their lifestyle is paying off.
“The rise in DINKs couples isn’t just about Erewhon smoothies and fancy vacations — it’s actually a fascinating response to our current economic moment,” Libby Rodney, chief strategy officer and futurist at The Harris Poll, told Fortune.
”Coming of age through the 2008 financial crisis and pandemic-era instability, millennials and Gen Z are essentially trauma-bonding with their bank accounts,” she added, explaining that combining incomes helps grasp at “increasingly elusive” financial security.
And even if their money situation is solid, many suffer from persistent feelings of financial anxiety and distorted viewpoints of their long-term stability, after facing off with ill-timed recessions, a thorny housing and job market, and ballooning student debt.
Even wealthier Millennials and Gen Zers delay having kids
Handed a lousy card deck of cards, young adults of today are instead opting to play a different game entirely. Many are simply recognizing that the cost of a baby could run them dry, as 74% of DINKs say they believe having kids would significantly impact their financial stability.
These couples are “not avoiding traditional adulthood, they’re redefining it on their own terms,” said Rodney, explaining that it’s all a “rational response to our current reality.”
It’s not just economic fatigue, “the whole institution of parenthood is having serious PR problems,” she added, noting that even the U.S. Surgeon General called out how parents are experiencing high stress levels.
And couples who choose not to have children tend to earn more in general than most everyone else. While 41% of Americans earn over $100,000 annually, that rises to 61% for DINKs. Abstaining from having a baby has likely impacted their spending power and earning potential. It’s also a likely red flag that even the rich can’t or don’t want to have a kid.
Factoring in the average cost of daycare, average student loan payments, and median home prices, Rodney figured that the “supposed six-figure cushion quickly evaporates,” leaving even the financially well-off “priced out of parenthood.”
To be fair, not every young adult couple is shirking family-building entirely. In fact, most (65%) DINKs imagine having kids, and more than a third (37%) plan on having them within the next five years. Perhaps they’re simply waiting to build more wealth and live for themselves a bit in the meantime.
DINKs are happier and more financially set
It turns out that DINKs’ response has paid off. These couples tend to be more satisfied with their lives— reporting more overall contentedness with their physical and mental health as well as their romantic relationships and social life than the average American.
DINKs simply have more time to themselves, greater flexibility, and additional time to pursue hobbies. The extra discretionary income can’t hurt. Even if it might seem like these couples are bailing out, it’s a drop in the bucket compared to the long-term cost of raising a child (calculated at $310,605 in 2022).
“These aren’t couples choosing between children and luxury watches — they’re choosing between children and financial security,” emphasized Rodney. ”What their parents could afford on a single income now feels out of reach on two professional salaries, marking a striking shift in what constitutes ‘enough’ to start a family in today’s economy.”
In the meantime, DINKs are able to jet set just a bit more than their peers who need to buy additional airplane tickets for kids. These couples report that having no children allows them to travel more, and they’re willing to spend extra on luxury vacation packages.
DINKs are more likely to be at your local restaurants or bars, typically spending four times as much per month than the average American on dining and getting take out.
To understand the DINK lifestyle, Rodney said: “Think of it as economic self-preservation with better dinner reservations.”
Are you a DINK or DINKWAD interested in sharing your story? Email chloe.berger@fortune.com
