61 Weird Christmas Gifts Too Strange Even For Santa – HuffPost
Senior Reporter, HuffPost
Christmastime is here again, and that means the biggest existential question of the holiday has also returned: What to get that weird person in your life?
Chances are you have at least one weird person close to you, and often buying presents can be a challenge because of their weirdness.
That means giving a thoughtful present requires actual thought and, more important, keying into their weirdness.
Although normal people can find that a struggle, it’s not an issue for the bizarre people at HuffPost Weird News.
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We’ve combed the world ― and also gave it a shampoo and trim ― looking for weird products appropriate for any nutball’s noel.
Even if you’re not a mean old Grinch, surely your heart will grow three sizes when you see Fido dressed up as the Christmas icon.
What do you get the person who has everything? A customized bobblehead of them looking like a pole-dancing unicorn, silly!
For some people, a Nativity scene using chocolate-covered cherries is a sweet way to honor the birth of Jesus.
It gets chilly for some people this time of year, and for others, it gets Chili’s, as in the fast casual restaurant. The chain is promoting its new appetizers with a bedtime set that include Chili’s-themed sheets, pillowcases and an eye mask.
Sure, P.F. Chang’s makes lettuce wraps, but what do you do after the meal is over to remember the feast? How about a fur-lined Lettuce Wrap blanket? Thought you’d say that.
Sure, pants are a stylish part of any wardrobe, but sometimes they aren’t user-friendly when you need to answer nature’s call. The Chickfly pants allow a person to take a leak easily without pulling down the pants entirely. Great in cold, inconvenient situations.
It just wouldn’t be Christmas without a sweater that shows Santa bending over with mistletoe covering his rear end. It just wouldn’t.
Spicing things up at Christmas just became easier with The Last Dab Xperience, a hot sauce made with Pepper X, the hottest pepper in the world, according to the Guinness Book of World Records. How hot is it? Well, there is a reason it’s the very last sauce used on the popular interview show “Hot Ones.”
Bo Diddley is one of rock’s founding fathers. And this collection of bobblehead dolls will be fun to watch while bobbing your head to his music.
Teddy bears are great to cuddle when you’re young, but when you grow up, there is Buddy High, a plush toy that not only resembles a big bud of cannabis, but it smells like one, too.
Sure, puffers are a great way to stay warm, but they tend to only cover the upper part of the body. These puffer onesies cover the whole body, allowing warmth and style to commingle.
It’s an age-old problem: The cookies you’re eating are great, but no matter how many you eat, they just won’t get you drunk. Damn. Hoewver, Dough Ball Whiskey solves that problem by making the booze tastes like cookie dough. How sweet!
Trust me on this: If Tchaikovsky had been alive when “Revenge of the Jedi” had been released, he would have made the Nutcracker an ewok. Sadly, he didn’t get that opportunity, but this Ewok nutcracker will allow you to engage in revisionist history.
“What’s that engine block doing in the living room?”
“It’s not an engine block. It’s a coffee table!”
“But it looks like an engine block!”
“Yes, we know.”
“But why?”
“We felt it was important to have a piece of furniture that didn’t match anything else in the room.”
“Ah, I see.”
Santa doesn’t like to talk about his days when he was a male stripper — “water under the bridge,” he says. But you imagine what he experienced every time you wear this sweater showing him topless save for light-up tassels.
It’s been a long-accepted rule of science that tequila just tastes better when it comes in a package that resembles Santa’s pants.
Having the proper tool for the job is key: This pizza cutter that looks like a track saw will surely be worth the dough.
Cheetos are great but so messy. This snuggie will not only keep you warm but will provide a place to wipe the Cheetos dust before it gets on anything else.
This toaster night-light will light up the face of whoever you get it for.
Did your florist run out of poinsettias? If you had this costume, you could just wear this every year instead.
If you know someone who loves brined cucumbers, this pickle-flavored toothpaste won’t leave a sour taste in their mouths.
If you’re rocking around the Christmas tree, you probably need some fresh beats: This Pioneer DJ unit will allow Santa (or anyone else) to mix and match beats and songs to make for the most danceable holiday ever.
Housing is expensive, but there are some bargains — such as this one-size-fits-all Gingerbread House. There’s no chimney, uniess you count the hole for the neck.
Odell Beckham’s torso helps him on the football field and, apparently, is also helping to sell candles.
Hawaiians and visitors to the Aloha State are familiar with Spam musubi. Now you can keep your food memories alive every time you sit down, thanks to this Ottoman designed to look like the tasty treat.
Know some who is both a theater geek and a devout beliiever of pseudo-science? I can safely predict they will love the Al Hirschfeld Tarot Card Deck.
Sometimes it takes a toy soldier to do the job of an adult and open beer bottles.
The tree is usually the center of attention on Christmas Day, but you can make yourself the focus by turning yourself into the tree with this Pink Ceramic Christmas Tree costume.
Finding the perfect bong to represent the joy of the holidays just got easier. I give you: The Grinch.
Some people dream of a white Christmas. Others dream of receiving boxer briefs of raccoons playing around a dumpster. Different strokes, I guess.
This may be controvesial, but getting any cat to wear this reindeer hat is the real Christmas miracle.
If your special someone is trying to avoid excess sugar this holiday, maybe just dress up like a gingerbread girl instead?
Cleaning your ears is sometimes necessary, but what if you’re also one of the millions of people who have to constantly check their phone in order to feel normal? Well, the BeBird makes both possible via an app that will let you see each piece of wax sticking in your ears. If you want even more fun, do it in public.
You know Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, but who knew Santa had a reindeer named … Hunky???
Sometimes — especially if you’re potty-training kids — you need a second look. The Toilet Mirror makes that easier. If you know, you know.
No, this isn’t the full-sized Pickleball game that has taken over your local park. But it might keep the kids — or even Grandpa — happy on those days when it’s too cold or rainy to go to the real one. Or not.
For those not in the know, Skibidi Toilet is a hugely popular animated YouTube series, especially with the kids. But while the kids are happily playing with this game version, the adults around you will gripe, “You gave them a plastic toilet?” Fun, fun, fun!
Life is all about balance: Balancing your real-world responsibilities with all the shows you really want to watch on streaming. The LG StanbyME is basically a TV that fits in a briefcase that allows you to watch your shows anywhere you HAVE to be. Being present in real life is overrated anyway
Friends of stoners will get a kick out of pranking their pot-smoking buddies with candles that look like bongs.
Stoners may actually kick the friends who do that.
“What did you think of the cactus cheese grater I got you for Christmas?”
“It’s grate!”
“Glad you like it!”
You are what you eat — or drink — so remind your loved ones by putting their face on a bottle of soda pop.
Having a sick child at Christmas is no holiday, but the Tum and Bum Incline Sleeper can make their illness easier to manage by making them sleep at an incline, a position that can help drain their sinuses.
Just a tip: If you’re trying to hide cookies from the rest of the family, a Cookie Monster-themed cookie jar is probably the worst place. Just saying.
Finally, a Christmas sweater for folks in warm weather climates (or Pat McEfee): This Hot Pockets-themed sweater has zip-off sleeves, allowing a person to show off their guns in true holiday style.
Boats are fun and drinking is fun, but spilling drinks while boating is not fun. The Floatsup solves that by creating a base that moves with the boat without spilling beverages.
“What did you get for Christmas?”
“This Big Ass candle.”
“You don’t need to cuss.”
“I’m not. That’s the brand name. And, as you can see, it is a big-ass candle.”
“Yes, but … language.”
“Oh, then you won’t be happy there’s a Big Ass lighter sold separately.”
“I’m happy with everything but your language.”
Think today’s movies stink?
You can test that theory with the MovieScent, a device that works with your TV to add scents to films as you watch.
Just imagine the joy of the family when someone excitedly opens this gift and says, “What movies have a lot of farts in them?”
Outdoorsy people know how hard it is to take a shower in public.
The Shower Toga makes it easier, thanks to specially designed no-gap side openings that allow a person to discreetly wash all areas of their body using any water source.
The toga also doubles as a bag to hold wet or dirty clothes after the shower.
Sure, Godzilla is known for destroying everything around him, but when he’s given focus and boundaries, he is really good at holding a phone or game controller.
You celebrate the holiday your way, and I will celebrate it my way — with zombies!
Apparently, cats enjoying hearing bedtime stories. Well, as long as they are classic pieces of literature. like “Romeow and Juliet” or “Furr-renkenstein.” Oh, and if you’re feeding them treats — lots of treats — while doing it.
“Hmm, Uncle Pete is both a foot fetishist and a cannabis enthusiast. I wish there was some way to thread that needle.”
“Hold my beer!”
As cannabis becomes legal in more U.S. states, people are finding new ways to use it surreptitiously. Case in point: Ripsticks, which combine sugary powder with THC. Way to mix childhood nostalgia and adulting fun!
Lip balm and pickles are two things poeple like to put on their lips. But for some strange reason, no one has thought to put these two products together in true Reese’s peanut butter cup action. Until now.
Your child may want the expensive video game console or a 20-speed bike, but what they will actually play with is this fidget toy that looks like someone puking. And that, friends, is the true meaning of Christmas (editor’s note: It is not actually the true meaning of Christmas).
Sure, you can decorate your tree with stars, tinsel and all the lights you want, but unless you have an ornament that resembles a piece of cocktail-sized rye bread, it will always be missing that certain something.
If you have a dog that likes to chill, this Lazy Dog Lounger will allow your pup to stay cool in the pool — even if they aren’t a good swimmer.
No, this pink stethoscope ring doesn’t allow you to hear a heartbeat. It just tells the recipient they have your heart with them at all times.
Your sweet little kitty would probably love to spend its hours not killing mice inside this secret bat cave-like lair. Of course, I didn’t actually speak to the cat, so my comments are just conjecture.
Some people want to spread cheer during the holidays. Others just want to spread butter. This Danish Creamery Ugly Christmas Sweater splits the difference nicely.
Vapes are supposed to be portable, but sometimes a pencil-shaped object is just a little too obvious. The Flip Me Over vape battery has a flip feature that puts the vape in a secure but compact container. Thank you, technology.
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