'I tried to buy Greenland before deranged Donald Trump but awkward call changed everything' – Daily Star
EXCLUSIVE: It turns out it’s harder than than it looks to buy a country – but that didn’t stop Daily Star man Tom McGhie from having a go before Donald Trump got his mitts on it
I had a go at buying Greenland but it appears Donald Trump might have his work cut out for him.
The US president-elect has repeatedly expressed a wish to take control of the giant Arctic island. On Tuesday (January 9) Trump said owning the autonomous Danish territory was “critical” for America’s national and economic security. “This is a deal that must happen. MAGA. MAKE GREENLAND GREAT AGAIN!” the Republican wrote in a post on his social media platform Truth Social, apparently not understanding how abbreviations work.
It’s the second time Trump’s tried to nab Greenland, first floating the eccentric idea in 2019 during his first term. On both occasions he's been slapped down by Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen, who responded with a firm "Greenland is not for sale".
Just how difficult is it to buy the territory? And can you even do it? Despite Frederiksen’s resolute answer, I thought I’d have a go at it anyway – may as well try and get in there before the Trumps do. I’ve always fancied myself a bit of freezing real estate anyway, what’s the worst that could happen.
Unfortunately, there’s no concrete price tag on the territory. Estimates vary wildly from around £180million, extrapolated from America’s 1867 purchase of Alaska, and “£3billion”, a rough figure offered to the Daily Star by security expert Professor Anthony Glees, who dubbed the Republican "deranged" for his expansive desires while theorising "Trump probably wants Greenland for its minerals".
Either way – it’s quite a lot to put through on expenses. Despite Granny McGhie tucking a £20 note into my Christmas card, I still didn’t even have even a fraction of the amount.
So, after an unsuccessful office whip-round, I turned to my bank Lloyds. “You can’t borrow £3billion,” came the baffled response down the phone from an adviser. “Even if it’s to buy Greenland?” I asked. “Er…No.”
The highest amount I could take out was £50,000. A decent start – perhaps I could pay in instalments? Next I had to work out how to buy the place.
As Greenland is a territory of Denmark, the best place for me to start was putting a call in to Copenhagen. “I would like to inquire about whether Greenland is indeed for sale?” I put in an email to Mette Fredericksen’s office. “And if so, how much is it going to cost?”
After hours of no response, I was losing hope. Given the Danish PM’s resolute answer to Trump of “Greenland belongs to Greenlanders”, her silence spoke volumes.
Granted, I have significantly less money and power than the Orange Manbaby, but I still wanted to know exactly how Trump is going to manage the sale?
The short answer is that it’s incredibly unlikely Greenland will be added to the 78-year-old’s long list of assets. “It is an absurd idea, and a hopeless reality [for Trump],” said expert Danish military analyst Anders Puck Nielsen on his YouTube page.
He added: “Greenland makes most of its constitutional decisions, making it essentially a different country to Denmark. So, when Donald Trump assumes he can buy it off Denmark – that is an absurd idea.”
For now at least money can’t buy constitutional sovereignty, so the Hungry Hippo of the World – Trump – might have to wait a bit longer to set up shop in the territory’s capital, Nuuk.
In lieu of a straightforward transaction, however, Trump's ominous refusal to rule out “military or economic coercion” in order to obtain the Arctic region now leaves a sour taste in the mouth.
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