Greta Lee and Teo Yoo Talk Love and Longing in <i>Past Lives</i>

Minor spoilers below.

Make no mistake: Past Lives is a romance, even if you don’t feel that way by the end, as you’re wiping away your tears in the theater. Teo Yoo insists. “Looking at it from my character’s perspective, it’s not an ending. It’s just maybe a beginning,” the actor says without giving too much away. “So it’s definitely a romance.”

It might not have the familiar trappings of the genre, but Past Lives is a love story that knows no bounds. Following childhood friends Nora (Greta Lee) and Hae Sung (Yoo) from youth into adulthood, it transcends borders, years, other relationships, and even lifetimes. It evokes feelings so vast that they communicate best through longing gazes instead of words. It’s rooted in the Korean concept of in-yun, which says two people are destined to meet due to the connections they’ve had in their previous lives. Yet, as grand and consuming as the pair’s bond may be, director Celine Song makes it feel tactile and down to earth. And Lee and Yoo convince us that it’s real.

The duo were faced an incredible task of bringing this story to life, but they did and did it well, as the reactions out of Sundance, Berlin, and now theaters nationwide have shown. “You never know how something’s going to be received,” Lee tells ELLE.com. “And there was so much on the line. I can’t pretend that we get this opportunity all the time.”

Prior to the A24 film, Lee was known for supporting, often comedic, roles, from The Morning Show to Russian Doll, all the way back to Girls. Yoo, born and raised in Cologne, Germany, has a number of international titles under his belt, from Park Chan Wook’s Decision to Leave to the Russian film Leto. Though they hesitate to admit it, they both know that the success of Past Lives marks a turning point for their careers. And rightfully so. With performances conveying nuance, tenderness, and heart, they might be gunning to be our next favorite romantic leads.

I’m curious, do either of you believe in destiny? When was the first time you heard or learned about the concept of in-yun? Is that something that you grew up believing in?

Greta Lee: I had heard of it. I mean, I grew up in L.A. I’m Korean-American, and my parents immigrated from Korea, but my understanding of in-yun was just like, “oh, that’s a neat construct that is for Koreans” that I didn’t necessarily have any personal connection to. And now, in my conversations with Celine and certainly Teo, and doing this movie, it’s become highly personalized. And now it’s this exhausting construct where I cannot unsee in-yun everywhere. Like, we have in-yun now, and I’m like, enough! I can’t see any more in-yun with people. It’s like, I’m full. I’m done. I’m at capacity. I’m good. [Laughs]

Teo Yoo: You still have a lifetime to go.

Lee: I know.

And more lifetimes.

Lee: I need an in-yun rest.

Yoo: I was fairly familiar with the concept, also because I’ve been living in Korea for the past 15 years, and we’ll use it very casually on a day-to-day basis. And it’s not even just this deep cosmic philosophical thing. It’s more casual and more of an anecdote in everyday conversations whenever you meet with someone for coffee, or you have a new colleague, or you get introduced to a new friend. You just say, “Yeah, it’s in-yun.” And maybe if it goes any deeper than something like small talk, then you start just humorously lightheartedly talking about, “What do you think happened with us in our previous lives that we have this connection right now?” “Maybe we were real enemies or maybe we hated each other, and therefore, we love each other this time.” That kind of thing.

It connects you to, I guess, the Western theme of destiny, even though it’s a very Eastern construct, which leans upon Buddhism. But I think the value of the idea is just arriving to Western audiences, and therefore, it’s not only an Eastern construct anymore; it’s pretty universal, I think.

I feel like so much is said between Nora and Hae Sung with just looks: when they’re children saying goodbye in Korea, when they’re on the subway 20 years later just staring at each other, taking it all in, and then obviously at the end of the movie. What do you think they are trying to say to each other in those moments? And what was it like for you both as actors to convey that without speaking?

Lee: It’s hard to describe. One would maybe even say it’s a wordless experience to describe what that is. I think it depends on the moment, but there are times when in my mind, Nora, in that silence, is just saying “I love you” over and over and over again, but in a way that is unnameable and you can’t articulate in any language. There’s no way to express it. It’s like with music. When you hear music or when you see music cinematically or someone bursts into song, it’s because there’s no other way to possibly express what’s happening. Maybe silence operates that way in our movie.

There’s so much that is impossible to say, and a lot of just holding each other’s love, but something beyond that. Sometimes it’s a recognition of, “I know.” “I know everything you feel and I’m receiving you and taking care of you in this moment.” Or the other way around. It’s just me trying to figure out what Teo’s thinking…just trying to read his mind.

Yoo: I remember in the subway, for example, it was a moment in the film, but it was, for us, it was I think five or six hours holding that gaze, that energy, sitting next to each other, standing across from each other with an inch apart and all I was thinking was, Nothing but love, nothing but love. Nothing in my mind. It was really like, oh my God, I’m so in love with her. But given the circumstance, it was easier, I think, on my end as Hae Sung than for Nora, because Nora has all these other layers and that other relationship and the history that she needs to consider. So I felt like I always had it a bit easier because I was the one who was like–

Lee: Thank you for saying that.

Yoo: Yeah, because she was going through this whirlwind and tumult … like a flood, and I was basically just serving the tennis ball, [like] “I love you” and throwing it over, and she would have to punch it back—but is she allowed? Can she? Won’t she?

Lee: I feel like Hae Sung could be a spy, a CIA agent on a mission—a love mission.

The most romantic gesture of the movie is all Hae Sung. But I think that for Nora, there is something that is so painful about receiving love. It’s excruciating. And the adult-ness too. This is not a movie about infidelity of like, “Okay, great, so let’s go seal the deal over here. Screw my husband.” These are all supremely intelligent people, respectful, good people, people we recognize for ourselves. And it’s from there, receiving love and giving too, that feels so impossible and stretchy. As a woman, too. As a woman, to hold that stance, but also a love for her life, for her future to hold all of those things. It’s so crazy-making. … I was amazed in the process of this, of really understanding in a way that I can genuinely say I hadn’t before: Our capacity for love is great, it turns out. How much you can hold and give simultaneously in so many ways, and including that love for yourself and your dreams and all of that, it’s very hard to reckon with. It’s massive.

How did you feel the first time you went through the script and read the closing scene? Was the floor also ripped out from under you? Did you expect them to make any contact at the end, or did you appreciate the melancholy and the longing? For me, it was the latter, but I would love to hear from you both.

Yoo: I remember being touched really deeply by the script. I had a really good cry after. And I was always looking for a project where I can put my personal emotional melancholy into the character, because it was in my life, a very ongoing theme almost. It was almost like I felt always like an outsider being born and raised abroad as a Korean. And now even living in Korea, I still feel like an outsider at times because of the cultural disparity in my childhood growing up somewhere else. But I was always looking for, basically a script or a director, an artist who can use me as an instrument to play that tune. So I’m just so grateful for it that I had the opportunity to do that.

Lee: I think reading the script, it did something. It’s like a sneak attack. It did something that I felt was impossible previously. It took an Asian American woman in a way that I just didn’t think was, [Celine Song] did something that I didn’t think was possible, really. She showed so much about the certain realities of what it’s like to be living in America as an Asian woman in a very pure and unflinching way. But it was like she did it in a way where she just made space for everything else that she wanted to do. So it wasn’t about checking off any boxes or explaining identity at all. And then it just became the type of movie that I wanted to see for myself, and that was so unburdened by the responsibility of more equitable storytelling or more representation. It was so liberated from that, and it was just a really good movie with some really rich and challenging scenes.

What actually stood out to me was Nora saying that when she’s with Hae Sung, she feels more Korean, but also less Korean at the same time. I’m Filipino, but I felt the same way being with my family from back home. You’re exposed to the culture, but also you realize how different you are because of where you grew up. I’m curious how that line struck you.

Lee: I feel that way just hanging around Teo, constantly riding this wave of like, oh my God, I feel so white right now. [Laughs] [He probably thinks,] “She’s the most annoying, loud American girl.” And also then feeling like, “Okay, I am fully immersed in my Korean-ness in a very jarring way.”

And then also, I tell him how odd it is then to feel like, “oh, but then sometimes I just feel like a woman, like a person,” and that in-between is arguably even more uncomfortable, just not clinging to a prescribed identity and all of that. I’m genuinely so grateful that it was Teo and all of our conversations in terms of doing this in prep for our characters. I mean, these were essential to the movie. That’s what [Celine Song’s] talking about.

Teo, you mentioned feeling like an outsider before. Did that line or that idea also resonate with you?

Yoo: Yeah, because I feel like feeling like an outsider in my younger years would’ve been a cause for a lot of damage. But I guess now, I think it informs me, and I think it’s a privilege. A so-called minority, and the emotions that come with it to change that perception, I understand it, but in the American context, it’s not really the emotion that I feel because I grew up so differently, yet I still feel it. I think those are things as artists that inform us and that inspire us and maybe make us feel somewhat a bit lonelier, but at the same time, that loneliness is then a privilege because you get to feel that emotion and you get to experience it, and you get to portray it. So there you have it. It’s just an added color to your color palette from which you can paint in the future. So yeah, I’m just grateful for it.

You’ve both been working for decades. Does this film feel like a turning point for either of your careers?

Yoo: [Pause] Yes, it does. Be honest. Yes, it does, right, Greta?

Lee: Yeah, of course it does! I’ve never been the lead of the movie, ever.

Yoo: Same here.

Lee: In over 20 years. And I don’t feel like a victim of my circumstance by any means, but I think it’s one of those things that I had put to bed, honestly, this idea of that I would get to do something like this, and I had made peace with it, actually. And still I felt lucky that I still find a tremendous amount of joy and fulfillment from acting, from playing supporting roles. I do. I’m a firm believer of that saying, “there are no small parts.” I believe that. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t believe that so strongly. And I still believe that. I think my feelings now have more to do with the type of story that I want to be a part of and in what way. And fighting for movies like this to have any space in the marketplace, culturally.

I think in so many ways, what felt such a bet for us was acknowledging that this is so spectacle-free. It’s not really a reflection of what has been successful in the marketplace. These are all things that have nothing to do with us, but we can’t help but be cognizant of that. This is a precious gemstone in a sea of guns and knives, and we’re like, hope it works, hope people get something out of it. But it feels good. It feels good to do something that you care this much about, and you feel it’s painting the picture of the good of man, the inherent good in people for once.

Yoo: A career changer? Definitely, because I think it’s interesting that … Yeah, I’m going to go there: I think it’s interesting that there are no Asian men in porn. Having said that, it shows the dehumanization and the de-sexualization of Asian men in American cinema. There I said it.

For me, I’m okay with portraying—I’m vulnerable enough to portray—an Asian character in the context of the Western market, being a nerd, being a comedian, or being a martial artist. But it’s not my authentic self, because the background from which I draw from where I grow up in, is a pool of immigrants from Eastern Europe, from North Africa, from the Middle East, and my friends. And we had to excel athletically and come out on top. So having had that background, it was for me, always interesting that I didn’t find this connection to what is called the “model minority myth” for Asian Americans.

Therefore, I’m just so grateful that I can use what I feel authentically connected to and put it into a character in a film, an A24 film, and then it’s shown to a Western audience, and the Western audience accepts me as their romantic lead. I’m really aware where I’m standing at this point in my life, at this moment in American cinema history. So yeah, it’s freaking a game changer to me. It’s so significant. So I’m aware of that, and I accept the responsibility, and I’m just interested in what comes for all of us after this.

This interview has been edited and condensed.